


A Crazy Knight

by PerfectlyLoudBouquet2



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:42:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27906919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerfectlyLoudBouquet2/pseuds/PerfectlyLoudBouquet2
Summary: Jesse decides to take his girlfriend Beca to a Medieval Times restaurant.  But when she takes a nasty fall, she gets transported back to actual medieval times.  It'll take all her bravery (and a few familiar faces) to help her get back.
Relationships: Beca Mitchell/Jesse Swanson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	A Crazy Knight

“Isn’t this awesome?” Jesse said. Beca didn’t look up from her phone.

“Fascinating.”

They were sitting in a large arena at the annual medieval-themed games. In the center, two men had been jousting on horseback. The festivities were taking a break at the moment. Jesse was using the opportunity to gawk at the gorgeous arena, complete with a huge hole in the center of the roof, allowing sunlight to shine on the center of the action. Beca was using the opportunity to update her twitter.

“If I had known you were such a dork about medieval stuff, I never would have started dating you.”

“If I had known you’d be such a buzzkill, I wouldn’t have invited you.” Beca looked up at him and Jesse laughed. “Kidding. I knew you’d be a buzzkill. And I dragged you along anyway. Because I love you.”

“Whatever.”

He gave her a peck on the lips. “I saw a vendor selling huge drumsticks of some kind of meat outside. I’m going to go get some. You want anything?”

“Mmm, ‘some kind of meat’? Tempting. But no.”

A few minutes after Jesse walked off, the man who announced each event walked into the center of the arena.

“Alright, folks. Now we’re going to do something a little different. We’re going to pick a volunteer to be our next jouster. Or joustesse!”

The people around her started yelling with excitement, trying to get the man’s attention. He looked around the arena until his eyes finally settled on Beca and he grinned.

“You there!” He pointed at her.

“No.”

He walked over to her. “Come on down! You’ve been chosen!”

“No. Absolutely not. I’m just here for my boyfriend - “

“Kid,” the man whispered to her. “Just say yes, it’ll take two seconds, and then you can go back to being negative about doing things and thinking that makes you cool.”

Beca stared daggers at him. “Fine.”

The crowd cheered as she hopped over the barrier separating her from the middle of the stadium. A white horse was walked over and a few assistants helped her onto it.

“Don’t worry, lady,” said one of the assistants, who couldn’t have been over seventeen. “This has been done a thousand times before, there’s literally, like, no chance of danger. Oh, don’t forget this.”

He handed her a long jousting rod and she sighed.

“All right, ladies and gentlemen! Are you ready?” the man asked. The crowd roared in agreement. He turned to Beca. “Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

The horse trotted itself to one side of the arena as her opponent came into view on the other side of the field. He was on a black horse and had on a full suit of armor, including a helmet. He looked tall, but he was on a horse, so it was hard to tell. (Plus, compared to Beca, who isn’t tall?)

“The novice vs the Dark Knight!”

Beca rolled her eyes. “Original.”

“Go!”

Her horse surged forward and Beca had to hang onto its neck. The jousting rod almost slipped out of her grip. “Whoa! Whoa. Okay.” She tried to aim the rod at her opponent’s shield. “I can do this. I can do this!”

When her rod finally hit the shield, it propelled her backwards. However, instead of falling off her horse, the hit propelled her so far back that she fell upwards and found herself flying backwards through the hole in the roof. She watched the faces in the crowd transform from excitement into shock. The last thing she remembered seeing was the announcer man shaking his head at her in pure bafflement. Then she saw sky. Then blackness.

***

Beca groaned and slowly sat up. There was a figure hovering over her. She screamed and he jumped back.

“ . . . Jesse? I’m so glad to see you! Never leave me again! You will not believe what happened to me.” Jesse was staring at her in confusion. She looked down and noticed her phone in his hand.

“M’lady . . . how doth thou know my name?”

“Jesse? Why are your clothes different? You’re dressed like you’ve been living on the streets for weeks.”

“M’lady, I think thou art mistaken.”

“Stop calling me that! And stop talking like that. You’ve taken this medieval thing way too far.” She looked around and realized she was lying on a pile of hay. The houses nearby weren’t made of bricks and they were spaced much farther apart than she was used to. “Or maybe I have.”

She stood up and tried to take in her surroundings. Jesse watched with concern. “Art tho - are you alright?”

“I got jousted all the way back into medieval times! That means you’re not Jesse. But who are you?” She turned back to him and realized he was still holding her phone. She snatched it back. “Oh my gosh, you’re a thief in this world!”

He looked down in shame. “In this world and all the others. My younger sister, she’s very sick and my family can’t - “

“Save the sob story. I have to get out of here. And you’re going to help me.”

“Me?”

“Well, I obviously didn’t meet someone who looks like my boyfriend in frickin’ medieval times by accident.” Her phone buzzed in her hand. “No way.”

*Jesse: Yo, where are you?*

She quickly made a group text with all of the Bellas plus Jesse and his few friends. She figured she’d need all the help she could get.

*Beca: Guys, I need your help. I’m stuck in medieval times. It’s a long story. How do I get out of here?*  
*Chloe: What?*

“Hey, come over here.” She grabbed Jesse’s shirt and took a selfie with him. She sent it to the rest of the group.

*Beca: (picture attached) See?*  
*Fat Amy: Whoa, Jesse! You clean up nice! (thumbs up emoji)*  
*Jesse: That’s not me. Where ARE you?*  
*Beca: I already told you! Help me!*  
*Aubrey: Well, if you actually are stuck in medieval times, which is highly improbable, then you should try to go on a quest.*  
*Beca: What?*  
*Aubrey: That’s what people did back then. Maybe if you help someone else, you’ll be allowed to come back.*  
*Chloe: Like in the Wizard of Oz!*  
*Cynthia-Rose: Or, like in the much better alternative, The Wiz.*  
*Bumper: Hey, lemme know when you find medieval me!*  
*Fat Amy: Me too!*

The next few text messages were her friends all voicing their agreement about keeping them posted about their alternate universe selves. Beca sighed.

“Okay. Jesse, is there any pressing problem going on around here that I could help solve?”

“Well, there’s always that.” Jesse pointed up in time for Beca to see the silhouette of a dragon pass over the sun.

“Are you freaking kidding me?”

Jesse grabbed her arm and pulled her behind the haystack. From their hiding place, Beca watched the huge black dragon swoop majestically over the town before breathing fire onto one home, then flying away. The people inside ran out, screaming and rolling on the ground. The neighbors tried to help put out the flames.

“Okay. Fight a dragon. Go home. Easy.”

“Not so,” Jesse (who apparently couldn’t understand sarcasm) said. “The dragon belongs to a powerful sorcerer. He holds the whole kingdom in his clutches, constantly in fear of when and who he’ll choose to enact his wrath upon.”

“Awesome. I guess we should get some armor then.” Beca started walking away in a random direction. She turned back to Jesse who was looking at her like she was crazy. “Blacksmith’s this way, right?”

***

“You truly do have a fiery spirit, but I still don’t think this is the best idea.” Jesse was still pleading with Beca to reconsider as they entered the blacksmith’s shop. The blacksmith had on a welder’s mask, holding a sword in the fire.

“Be right with you!” they said, though their voice was muffled by the mask.

“I know that voice,” Beca said. She noticed the blacksmith was wearing a sleeveless shirt. “And I definitely know those muscles.”

The smithy pulled the sword out of the fire and set it on the counter. They pulled their mask off. “How can I help you?”

“Cynthia-Rose!” Beca said. The girl looked at Beca in confusion.

“We need armor,” Jesse cut in.

“Wait, wait!” Beca held up her phone and took a picture of the girl. “Okay, I’m good.”

*Beca: (picture attached) Dang, girl.*  
*Cynthia-Rose: Dang is right! I look good!*  
*Fat Amy: (fire emoji)*  
*Stacie: (winky face emoji)*  
*Cynthia-Rose: (kissy face emoji)*  
*Jesse: Wait, if Cynthia-Rose is a blacksmith, then what am I?*  
*Beca: A thief. You tried to steal my phone. While I was unconscious.*  
*Jesse: I get it. Because I stole your heart? ;)*  
*Beca: Barf.*

“Thou art crazy!” Cynthia-Rose said to Beca. She stuffed her phone back into her pocket.

“What?”

“You’re going to fight the sorcerer? That’s a death sentence!”

“Well, what else can I do? I have to complete a quest in order to get out of here.”

“Why not rescue Princess Chloe?”

“Princess Chloe? Why am I not surprised?”

“Oh, that’s right! I forgot all about that!” Jesse said. “Princess Chloe was kidnapped by the king - a different king, not her father - a few fortnights ago. Many have tried to rescue her, but have been so put off by the actions of the king that they just leave.”

Beca hit Jesse’s arm. “You couldn’t have told me that earlier? Fight a powerful sorcerer with a dragon or defeat King Blowhard? Hard choice.”

“Well, the dragon showed up and it kind of commanded my attention!”

“Here.” Cynthia-Rose put two suits of armor on the counter. “Free of charge. I believe in you two.”

“Thanks.”

***

“Well, where to now?” Beca asked. They had reached the town square. Plenty was going on. For people who could die a fiery death at any instant, Beca had to admit they seemed pretty cheerful.

Suddenly a ball rolled in front of Beca. She stopped it with her foot and picked it up.

“Yo! Over here!” Beca looked over to see Fat Amy dressed as a jester. She was holding two other balls. “The juggling’s still a work in progress.”

“Fat Amy,” Beca said, grinning. She handed her the ball. “Hey, hold on.”

She took a quick selfie with Fat Amy, who flashed a peace sign.

*Beca: (picture attached)*  
*Fat Amy: Tell past me to follow her dreams!*  
*Beca: I will! I hope you do the same, you beautiful woman.*  
*Beca: I didn’t type that. Medieval You wanted to respond herself.*  
*Fat Amy: I love you, past me!*  
*Beca: I love you too!*

Fat Amy gave Beca her phone back. “Thanks, man. That’s super cool!”

“Not to rush anyone, but we’re kind of busy, so we should probably go,” Jesse said. “We’re on a quest.”

“To defeat the sorcerer?”

“To save the princess.”

“We’ll see how much time we have after we’re done,” Beca joked. “Then maybe we’ll defeat the sorcerer.”

“Can I come?”

Beca and Jesse exchanged a look.

“I can’t think of a single reason why not.”

“Whoo! Let’s go!”

Fat Amy ran into a nearby shop. Jesse and Beca followed her.

“Where are we?” Beca asked.

“Why did you lead us into the merchant’s shop?” Jesse asked.

“I - I don’t know. I just got excited.”

“Hello?” the merchant said, entering from the back room.

“Stacie? You’re a merchant?” Beca said.

“Sorry to intrude! We were just leaving.” Jesse pulled Beca and Fat Amy out of the shop. Beca snapped a quick picture as they left.

*Beca: (picture attached) You’re a merchant.*  
*Bumper: That’s weird.*  
*Chloe: Why a merchant?*  
*Stacie: Why is that weird? What, did you guys think I was going to be some kind of medieval prostitute?*  
*Beca: Yeah.*  
*Aubrey: Pretty much.*  
*Fat Amy: That’s exactly what I assumed.*  
*Stacie: Screw you guys.*

***

Beca, Fat Amy, and Jesse were traveling through the forest between the town and the castle. Soon, they came across a small cottage. Out of curiosity, they snuck inside.

“Okay, a little bit of this. A little more of that. Nope, too much! Too much!” There was a person standing above a smoking cauldron. There were shelves full of potions and other miscellaneous jars surrounding him.

“Benji!” Jesse said. The man whirled around, accidently knocking a jar of something into the pot. It caused a minor explosion and Benji jumped away from it. A tiny cloud of smoke rose from the cauldron.

“I really should keep all of this farther apart.”

“Benji?” Beca said, approaching him. He was wearing medieval clothes and looked a little scruffy, probably from living in the woods. But that babyface was still the same. “You’re so cute.”

“What’s up, man?” Jesse said, giving Benji a fistbump and a half hug.

“Wait, you two know each other?”

“Yeah. We went to Ye Old High School together. And then he disappeared off the face of the earth! Where have you been?”

“Oh, you know,” Benji shrugged. “Living in a cottage in the woods.”

“Well, it looks like you’re still really good at magic.”

“Yeah, I still dabble. It’s a passion, you know?”

“Wait, you do magic? Can you make us something to help rescue the princess?” Beca asked.

“Or fight the sorcerer?” Fat Amy added.

“Whoa, fight the sorcerer? No, no, no, my magic is not that strong yet. You want a weak sleeping spell or a potion to temporarily turn you into a frog, I’m your man. But all of the greatest wizards and witches have tried to fight the sorcerer and all have failed!”

“Okay, hold on. This story’s really interesting and everything, but I have to do this.” Beca pulled out her phone and took a selfie with Benji. He smiled, but still looked confused.

“It’s just a thing that she does,” Jesse said. “She’s new. You’ll get used to it.”

*Beca: (picture attached) Look who I found!*  
*Benji: I’m so cute!*  
*Beca: THAT’S WHAT I SAID!*

“Well, thanks, man,” Jesse was saying to Benji. He was holding a few bags of potions Benji had given them. He passed them out among the group. Beca put hers in her pocket. “Hey, if you ever stop by the village sometime, hit me up. We should hang out.”

“I will! Thanks.”

The trio all turned to leave, but, at the door, Beca turned back. “Hey, Benji.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t stop working on your magic. I think you’re a great magician.”

Benji grinned. “Thank you.”

***

“Are we close? Because it feels like we’ve been walking for a really long time,” Fat Amy said.

“The sun is only just now starting to go down. The castle has to be close by now,” Jesse said. Fat Amy groaned.

“Shh!” Beca said. “Do you guys hear that?”

They quieted down and stopped walking. Soon, they could hear the sound of someone walking towards them. Then, the sound stopped.

“What do you think - “

“RAAAAAH!” An armor-clad knight jumped out of the trees and aimed her sword at the trio.

“I don’t want to die like this!” Beca cried.

The knight lowered her sword and took off her helmet. “Sorry. I thought you posed a threat. I see now that none of you do.”

“Not even a little bit,” Fat Amy agreed.

“Are you returning from the castle?” Jesse asked. The knight nodded. “See? We are close.”

“Aubrey?” Beca said.

“Aubrey the mighty, if you don’t mind.”

“I do. Say cheese.”

*Beca: (picture attached) You’re a knight.*  
*Aubrey: Well, obviously. What other medieval profession requires the same amount of dedication and feriousity that I possess?*  
*Fat Amy: Medieval prostitute.*

“Are you three headed to the castle?”

“We’re going to save the princess,” Jesse said.

“I’ll assist you,” Aubrey declared. “I’ve just returned from dealing with the king. Perhaps coming at him with a team will make things easier.”

“Is he really as hard to deal with as the legends say?” Fat Amy asked. Aubrey rolled her eyes.

“Worse.”

“Well . . . let’s get going then.”

***

Aubrey kicked down the front door of the throne room.

“Well, you don’t have to break the door!” the king exclaimed. “Hey, didn’t I just see you earlier today?”

“King Blowhard is Bumper,” Beca said to herself. “Again, why am I surprised?”

She took a stealth pic. Just as she was about to add it to the group text, she realized that seeing himself as a king would only inflate his ego even more, so she pocketed her phone. When she looked back up, the king’s page was directly beside her, making her jump back.

“Whoa! Lilly?”

“Are you from the future? Me too. 3938.” She grabbed Beca’s arm. “If you find a way back . . . take me with you.”

Beca pulled her arm away. “Okay. You’re just as creepy in medieval times. Awesome.”

“We’re here to save the princess!” Jesse said.

“Well, good luck. Because no one is getting past me -” Suddenly, his eyes fell on Fat Amy and he gasped. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Well,” Fat Amy laughed, tossing her hair. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

They slowly started walking towards each other as the others looked on in confusion. When they reached each other, they started open-mouthed making out.

“Aww, gross!” Jesse said. The group averted their eyes.

“Disgusting,” Beca muttered. 

“This way.” Aubrey led them past Bumper and Fat Amy and into a hallway.

***

“Are you sure you know the way to the princess’s room?” Jesse said. They’d been wandering down hallways and up staircases for a while.

“No. I’ve never actually gotten this far.”

They reached the top of the stairs and pushed the trapdoor open, finding themselves on the roof of the castle. There were potions and jars of miscellaneous things near a far edge of the roof. A few feet away from them, Princess Chloe sat, hands and feet bound with rope and a handkerchief tied around her mouth.

“Princess!” Aubrey cried. The group rushed over and helped to untie the rope. “Don’t you worry. We’ll have you free in a second.” Aubrey pulled the handkerchief away.

“Look out!” Chloe cried. Aubrey followed her eyeline and looked behind her, just in time to see the large black dragon land on the roof.

“Everyone scatter!” She took Chloe’s hand and helped her up. Everyone ran as the dragon blew fire around them.

“The sorcerer!” Jesse yelled, pointing near the dragon. The sorcerer was wearing a large black cloak with a hood. His face was hidden in shadow. “You’re the one who kidnapped the princess!”

“I mean, it makes sense,” Beca suddenly realized. “It’s not like Bumper would be mean enough to kidnap anyone. He’s a bonehead, but he’s a nice bonehead.”

“Raaaaaah!” Aubrey screamed as she charged the sorcerer. The sorcerer waved his hand and Aubrey went flying sideways, nearly falling off the roof.

“Aubrey!” Chloe cried.

Jesse pulled Chloe and Beca closer to him, forming a circle. “When Benji and I were friends, he used to say that a wizard’s only as good as his potions. Sorcerers are probably the same way. If we could destroy all those jars, we could defeat him!”

“What’s the plan?” Beca said.

“Well, I’m a master of distraction,” Jesse said. “Not to brag, but I was a thief for a whole two months and I still have both my hands. I know how to use distraction to my advantage.”

“Okay, you go for the potions -”

“Raaaaaaaaaah!” they heard Aubrey scream as she charged the sorcerer again.

“Aubrey will distract the sorcerer for you. Chloe and I will take on the dragon.”

“We will?”

“We will.” Beca put her hand in the center of the circle. After a second, Chloe and Jesse did the same. Beca lifted her hand. “Break!”

“Break what?”

“Ugh, just go.”

Jesse ran off as Beca and Chloe cautiously approached the dragon.

“Um, hello, Mr. Dragon,” Chloe said. “If you stop breathing fire at us, I’ll pet your head and give you dragon treats.”

The dragon cocked his head in confusion.

“Wait, there’s something really familiar about him,” Beca said. “Oh my gosh, it’s - “

Before she could finish, the dragon blew fire at her. Looking nearby for something to hide behind, Beca saw the trapdoor they had entered through. Diving for it, she ripped it out of the ground and held it between her and the dragon.

“Beca!” Chloe cried. “Just . . . stay there! I’ll help you!”

“Wasn’t planning on leaving!”

Chloe tried to get the dragon to stop, but he completely ignored her. After a while, Beca finally assumed that the sorcerer was telling the dragon to target her.

Suddenly, there was a crash. The fire ceased and Beca could see Jesse smashing jars as fast as he could. The sorcerer raced over, but instead of attacking Jesse, he grabbed the only jar left before Jesse could reach it and poured the contents on the ground.

Everyone froze. The sorcerer calmly placed the jar back on the table. Looking around, Beca realized that the sorcerer had made time stop. She found herself frozen with fear as the sorcerer walked over and knelt down in front of her. He took off his hood.

“You are correct. I did tell my dragon to target you. But I told him to keep you alive. I want to be the one to defeat you. I’ve watched your journey. You are cute - like a tiny mouse. But you are also determined and fiery - like . . . what is the word? Like a troll.”

“I knew it,” Beca smirked.

“Knew what?” Kommissar said.

“Knew it was you. I knew when I saw how much your dragon looks like Pieter.”

“I do not understand,” Kommissar said, frowning.

“It’s okay, you’re still cute.” Beca closed her eyes in embarrassment as Kommissar smirked. “I mean . . . why do you call yourself ‘sorcerer’ if you’re a girl? I’ve been thinking you were a boy this whole time.”

“I do not call myself anything. The people just make their assumptions and I, in turn, send my Pieter to their villages.”

“Yeah, that sounds fair,” Beca deadpanned.

“Oh, little maus,” Kommissar cooed, cupping Beca’s cheek. Beca unconsciously leaned into the touch. “I think I will enjoy fighting you.”

“I don’t think so.”

Pulling Benji’s bag out of her pocket, Beca threw the contents into Kommissar’s face. The woman’s eyes closed and she fell back, asleep before she hit the ground. With that, time returned to normal.

“Not as weak of a sleeping potion as he thought,” Beca muttered. “Way to go, Benji.”

The dragon, seeing his master unconscious, swooped over and, taking her cloak gently between his teeth, put her on his back and flew away.

“We did it!” Chloe cried.

“You’re fading away!” Aubrey said, pointing at Beca.

Beca lifted at her hand and realized Aubrey was right.

“I’m going back to my own time! Guys, make sure everyone knows that Benji’s magic is what helped me defeat the sorceress. Maybe he’ll get some recognition. Actually, I couldn’t have done any of this without you guys, so . . . thanks.”

She smiled at them sadly.

“Wait, sorceress?” Aubrey said.

“I’m going to miss you,” Jesse admitted. Beca smiled and blew him a kiss.

“See you in another life.”

Jesse smiled and everything went to black.

***

“Beca!”

Beca woke up to see Jesse hovering over her.

“Well, that’s familiar,” she joked. She was on the floor of the arena. The crowd was murmuring worriedly amongst itself. The announcer man and his assistants were standing nearby, looking relieved. Her opponent removed her helmet to reveal a woman who looked strikingly like Kommissar. She looked down at Beca apologetically. Before Beca could tell her she was fine, Jesse hugged her tightly, knocking the wind out of her.

“Oh my gosh, never scare me like that again. I thought I lost you.”

She hugged him back. “I’m alright. It’s okay. I had a lot of fun.”

He pulled back. “A lot of fun before you got thrown off the horse?”

“No, after that! I was in medieval times! You were there and Fat Amy was there and Aubrey and Chloe and -”

“Okay, time to leave. We’ll stop by the hospital on the way home.” He helped her to her feet and they started walking out of the arena. When they reached the car, Beca had finally managed to convince him she was fine.

“Hey, Jesse.”

“Yeah?”

“I love you . . . but I’m never going to a medieval times festival with you ever again.”


End file.
